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[24 Sep 2005|10:27pm] |
i feel like i should update. so i am going to.
school has been going good i meet some kick ass people i am so tired thou. i don't know why or how but i am. so i thinki am going to sleeep know witch is major pathic.
but i can honestly barly form senteces
so yeah. ummm lots of ponitless sutt
but
SO TIRED. I pomise more to come.
(you can alos ask me a question so i have a idea what to type)
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[24 Sep 2005|01:28am] |
drunk.
hourse party.
plans 2morrow at 8.
FUCK
typing while drunk.
not easy.
I think i will leave my ermmm
box thing and room phone nummbe
r
sorry if been flakeness.
yeah. Bed.
(I think i going to stop using this lj. i think this repersents highschool)
more info to come
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[19 Sep 2005|10:27pm] |
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I kinda almost not want to talk about things that no one would understand. I love saying sentences out loud. to leave important details out. i love to look into peoples eye just to wonder if i infact can read there soul. I am tired of finding more and more dried paint undermyfingernails. I wish something interesting would apear. I keep reading words off pages that i don't care about. just to smile and nod. I tend to smile + nod more than I would like to admit. I wonder if people weed thru other peoples thoughts. (since you still care about them even if you tend not even to achnowlage them yet there you are still wanting to maek sure there safe). 2 more days. I tired of hearing about how person A hurts person B. I also hate the way people trow the names of there ex- (anything around). somethings should stay burried. For the first time in my life I broke a glass. My hand started to bleed and litle lace like trails of blood dripped down my hand. Its werid how it could hurt so little. When everything else seems to hurt so much. I keep answering my phone hoping for someone else. I see the 2 days left and Just want one person to simple admit to me the secerts of theres I shoudl of never found out about but did anyways. I been blushing far to easly by even easier compliments. I am on a differnt comp then usalue. sooosmart was logged in. I felt so out of place. the what-if-s get stronger as the days fall off my calider. more thoughts of people/feelings/place seem to butt there head. I like things here and feel it will be a easy leave. I am more scared about the coming back. I have a unheard of fear of seeing people on the side of boons ferry with a sigh that reads "down on luck" in the hand of a close friends (that I lost toutch to.) I wonder if my uncle really will let me on the coutch. If my grandmother will life till my colledge graduation. and why my others did not. I wonder if its true love can last forever & more important can ever one love. Are feelings as scary as I make them out to be? Do i really want the phobia of love? and if so, am i missing anything. The questiosn people want to know before I leave hit me hard and I check for brusies. but none form. I want to flirt with a few selected people. just for kicks. then relize i am horrible (and hide). Toxic paint . sharp remarks are the household charm. while kane jokes and silent wishes me goodbye. Colin suddenly stands closer to me. My father talks. the people I must say goodbye to gets smaller and smaller. I almost cryed. but swalloed hard. look uped and made yet a other horrible joke. I find myself not funny just annoying. I want to duck tape my mounth just to listen to others. Jack johnson, tegan and sarah , jonny lang is my soundtrack and I run around LO. Suddenly LO seems so much worst . only to surepise me with a pleasent surpsie. I will miss it here. (but please don't use it aganst me) but I been ready for this change for over a year. money leaves . people leave. trees lose there leaves. Leaves...
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[19 Sep 2005|06:36pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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none (its to loud (with headphones)) |
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Yesterday Was VERY loverly. Went to vist dear Jessica. Sadly last time I will see her in a long time.
Then down town with emma and Geoff (ran into rent kids)
ummmm LAST WORK DAY.
Today.
did chorse . went to liz worked on the rest of my ring holder.
ITS done.
on a side note.
I felt really smart today when I was listening to jack johnson I wsa like WHY is there a strong base ?
turns out kane drove my car and chaned all the settings making it REALLY rapish sounding JACK
second. I think I might not come back for thanksgivving.
THis was desided today when i get a phone call of my mom nearly crying come home to ask her why
she says !
I did nothing.
I point out the dog poop is gone. that I ran the arronds. Iempty and loaded the dishwaser (except the dishes kane and colin used after school. and the dishs that don't fit. and I gag everytime i clean one by hand so i normaly don't have to. I got yelled about that.
alot.
then she ask why i did not clean the rest of the kitch i said on the list (that she gave me) it said empty and load.
Then she ask why the car is not clean. I point out side and said theres still daylight and that was what i was going to do know.
she glares moved on to kane and just stood at his door yelling.
WTF is ahppening
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[17 Sep 2005|09:32am] |
I know have a face book.
Hanging out with lee, as usaul was amazing we got icecream/went to a porn store/school dance/supper smash bros/camp out.
OMG 5 DAYS
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[16 Sep 2005|04:29pm] |
plan-.
so I am just going to stay home 2morrow till like 10/11ish. during this time i am home PLEASE stop by. so we can chit chat. say goodbye and what not.
I live at 4237 haven street. in lo.
ummm i bought 30 dollors worth on snacking food.
so yeah.
if you would like to be help ful state the time period you will stop by. or if you. or if you can't.
<3 me
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[15 Sep 2005|06:24pm] |
ok . so who thinks i should do this.
saturday from like morning till 7 people can come over and wish me goodbye?
I could probly make a party with a day notice.
But i am kinda lazy.
if I did do this saturday who would come over?
if noone than i will just vist everyone for about a hour.
:-/
This is SO HARD.
How do you say goodbye to EVERYONe?
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[14 Sep 2005|07:56pm] |
my roomate. is amazing. shes just like me.
(withc kinda scares me at the same time.)
hot DAM i am excited
<3 well ME
(who wants to hang out ? i leave in 7 days. (8-O
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[14 Sep 2005|11:39am] |
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I Will kill my self. If i ever become a housewife.
being home alone all day is nice for about 2 days.
know I am making messes just to give me somethign to do.
I think i am going to start painting my bathroom or I am going to sew myself a purese.
someone save me.
503-539-9136
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[12 Sep 2005|09:37pm] |
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mood of the day _happy.
I loved my walk/bike ride.
life is going good. with ever bump i take . i take a long bike ride.
my stomach is flat.
my realtionships are solid.
I feel like everythign is excaly where it belongs.
9 days. and i really do think that they will go smothly.
♥
leave your name. and i prosie to leave you a little something in return. (in comment form)
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[11 Sep 2005|11:19pm] |
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its september 11th .
Every summer has been so differnt from the last. that i can compare them.
I love jack johnson.
10 days. then i am GONE.
I want to be vain. and stare in the mirror. just to see the worry winkels form. and them start drinking blood/inserting werid ass shti to smooth my skin.
^forgive me. I am a little crazy.
send me a kiss in my sleep
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| 3 years of dedication |
[10 Sep 2005|11:12pm] |
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mood |
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 sentalmental |
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How did i ever get so attached to Jermey and Natalie?
All I know is I did .
ANd 2night is the last night I get to baby sit them.
Mellisa told me that I can for sure jsut stop by when i come back for winter/thanksgiving.
I told her of course. She told me that she gave me some extra money for my colledge drink fund (about 10 dollors extra tis time) She also told me she wanted to know all the storys that went with my drinking fund.
I love that family so much. I lvoe how when i amd done babysitting me and mellisa stand by the door and talk about odd things. shes even talked about her husband problems.
and cute boys shes knows.
I am really going to miss everything
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[10 Sep 2005|08:55pm] |
I have been realy tired today but stragly after taking 2 differnt naps know that i am babysitting and can lay on the coutch for about 2 hours with out anyone bothering me i acn not fall asleep. Live is quite odd. Today was a good day I hung out with dear alison we went to colins soccor game then i ran som arronds with her it was pretty good. then saw 40 year old virgen with dearest julia. qutie funny I want to see these movies also
a soudn of thunder
echoes of innocents
the un-finshed line.
the constant garndern.
any interst?
I think i will call my roomate 2morrow. i know i keep saying it but maybe i will actually do it. (HA)
I also going to see the excersim of emily rose with ali 2morrow.
this lj is qutie boring. i apoligize.
I want to dye my hair. herm.
omge. so bored. ummm dam.
okay how about this. you know the game 20 questions. you can ask me any 20 questions. and then i will ask you 20 questions? or how may u want ot ask 20 questions is alot of fucking questions.
Ifeel like such a boring person. DAMIT
Its nice thou last year if i felt how i am feeling know i would of started buring my self or something. wow its really nice to know how much i have changed since than. I am scared that I am going to lose my friendship with kevin. our friendhsip was never like calling the other one up. ever. hopefully i am just nervous about everything. I keep getting huge mostor like zits most likly from the stress. i also think i am going to start calling up my friends that have not left yet. like larual. liz. & so forth.
less that 2 fuckign weeks. INSAIN.
dam i think i am going to try to sleep again.
so fucking tired.
meh love you much
ALi
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| sarah i shaved. you would be proud. |
[09 Sep 2005|11:54pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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none |
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sitting near kane.
us talking odd things.
just ranodm. favors for each other.
such as josh peak.
new kid at school.
kane was in the newspater
his afro.
work.
our dad.
(all had differnt veiws on)
then this.
me- kane why are we so differnt.?
kane- i am good looking and your not.
me- lauging
kane - you think i am joking and im not.
me-at least i don't have one boob.
long pause.
kane-did you know i can get you a cupon for 5 dollors of the angel bra
WTF- welcome to my shouse hold
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[08 Sep 2005|10:12pm] |
I feel quite fit. I road my bike for about 8 miles today. my legs hurt . it felt nice to exersice.
i saw amy / emma today it was quite nice.
mmmmmm i don't like hearing about the policitics that are going on with the hurcain problems.
meh. i feel really patic and want to sleep
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[08 Sep 2005|12:05pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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while cleaning my room i found somethings i wrote during jan/febuary... when i was sick.
Its really werid. since i dont really remember anything.
my room is getting close to half way done.
Woot W00t
w00t
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[07 Sep 2005|04:56pm] |
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mood |
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tired/ drained |
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music |
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pretty girls make graves |
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my room is truning into the GAME room.
theres talk of big tvs. lots of wiring.
I am moving all my stuff in a cornor.
my mom and me talk short shart sentance to eachother.
colin ranomly acts all mopy when i talk of school,.
Kanes excided for me. we talk short converstaion on what i will being doing next month.
My dad acts like staying up late is ubsurded. and tells me to go to be to get ready for school.
my grandmother tells me shes excited to hear my storys.
I am so excited.
BUT it is werid to know in 2 weeks I will be living with a girl i have never met or talked to.
go LIfe
I also think a quick bike ride will taste good with this heat
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[07 Sep 2005|12:58am] |
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mood |
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reallygood.reallyscared.real. |
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music |
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tegan & sarah.... + CAKE |
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Cake was amazing.
Life is really amazing right know.
And yet I am so excited/scared to leave.
What if When i come back home I don't want to see anyone.
hanging out withe kevin and sarah did that to me i surpose.
:-P
Ok so Tegan and Sarahs song That i raved about in my last lj. tottaly made me slighly cry on the way home
"look me in the eye when you call me unattravitve"
^magjor connection with me
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[06 Sep 2005|01:57pm] |
bumper shoot was amazing. It was grand just haning out with kevin and talking. I really hope that colledge won't kill our friendship.
any who. TEGAN AND SARAH WHERE SO flippen amazzing LIVE.
Dashboard was ok. it there had not been so many screaming girls. and mosing. Whatev
Then the DECEMBERIST. ARE so FUCKING amazing live.
Evetually I will post pics.
but the song that tegan and sarah played that i loved more than life is ...
Wher dose the good go?
where do you go with your broken heart in tow
what do you do with the left over you
and how do you know, when to let go
where does the good go, where does the good go
look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen
it's love that leaves that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
real happy and healthy, strong and whole, where does the good go
where does the good go
where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
how do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
what do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
where does the good go, where does the good go
it was so amazing live
2night CAKE
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cutetreehugger's journal
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